More about the (non) smelly hippies

The hippies checked out today.

Their lecture (aka 'constructive' criticism) today was about apples.

We have a bowl of free apples on the front desk at most times (unless the vultures are particularly ravenous).

Smelly hippies like apples.

Apparently our apples have pesticides on it. Mr Smelly Hippy knows this how.... oh yeah, he claims to be a chemist with a super sense of smell (though admitted his naturopath told him, so yeah there goes that theory). He reckons the only thing in his diet that's changed this week is our apples, and they've left a 'metallic tang' in his mouth.

He then goes on to tell me how to remove this.... because you know... I care....

Apparently if you wash apples in a very weak solution of Hydrochloric Acid, the pesticide wipes off (if you make it too strong and burn ur intestinaley bits out so be it). Or alternatively you can wash them in Apple Cider Vinegar.

My apples are free.... for whoever wants them.... they're not signed as 'organic' 'poison free' or any bs like that. They're something for nothing... an added extra... to throw at the doctor each day to keep the fucker away.....

IF YOU DON'T WANT MY POISON FECK OFF AND STOP EATING MY APPLES.

PS I was going to post a hilariously funny typo/freudian slip but the camera has gone and grown legs and I can't find it....

PPS I don't usually rant but I'm sleep deprived and caffeine free... god I need a hit