Thud....Fuck
Two things you don't like to hear at the gym.... "Thud"...."Fuck" (between songs in the cardio department...Maybe I'd rather hear those things than say/do them though...).
Some poor girl bunged her knee playing on the Cross Trainer (see ...I said they were evil) and flew off it backwards and managed to hit the wall as she collapsed in a little heap behind the jungle of machines.
Skaed was sweatily pedalling away on the machine next to me and was completely unaware as his new mp3 player had him sealed into his own little planet. Where I was between songs and completely lost interest in the fact I had 2 more minutes to pedal like a demented midget and try to beat the sainted frustrating 11.6km mark. Need I even say I got to the 11.6km mark... again.. and no further as I was rubbernecking rather than paying attention to the shrinkage of my ass (20 minutes on a sexercise bike = 11.6km no matter how hard either of us seem to try)
Speaking of my ass (what a hideous way to start a paragrah for those in the know) I think the shrinkage has begun... parts of me are certainly not quite as flubbery as they were two long hard weeks ago. Buff and toned are not words that come to mind... yet.
SexBomb has had some progress picking up her John Travolta (Dance teacher). It would seem he IS of the straight persuasion, is single, dating (females) and can be found on one of those "I'm desperate" websites (I'm going to get hit for that one, SexBomb only found out coz she's on the same one, teehee). Travolta has been most unrevolting this week, and complimentary to boot... so out comes SexBomb's more 'revealing' dance wear and the smile we all know and love. Very tempted just to ring up the studio and say "my friend likes you" because I haven't done that since high school... but my life is more important than that.
The pupsicle (Mad Sammy) got a trip to the beach today. I couldn't be assed driving all the way to the gym to sweat so I hopped along the beach in a half walk half stagger/jog and threw the ball for ages to dry and get the dog to smell less doggy. Which he did. Until he found the corpse.
It seriously looked like a human spine with long long since deceased skin & clothing hanging off it (bloody hope it wasn't though). Undisturbed it was gentle on the nose. When Sammy nose dived on it for a bloody great rub... PHWOAR. Another swim, a violent rubdown and he got into my gorgeous little car. Little bastard still reeked of seaweedy fishy maggoty death though didn't he. Windows down and driving at a speed approaching the speed of light to get our asses home while trying not to reach.
Threw poor Sammy out of the car soon as I got home (ok, so I opened my door and he flew out as usual) I managed to get inside without him and find my stolen hotel bottle of shampoo from some random hotel somewhere and dragged sammy to the hose for a shampoo and set. He went from stinky sphinctery to delicious in 2 minutes (but was left outside to dry just in case there was underlying pong remaining).
Back at work tonight, 2 lates, then 2 fucking fucking graveyards. If I don't sleep this week you'll know when you hear about the attempted mass murder/suicide with a plastic spoon.
Lots of lovely oldies in tonight for a 60th... am waiting to seem them all weaving and giggling like teenages. Gotta love old drunks. It's either that or wait for the swimmers to come back so I can ogle their goodies. Doubt there'll be much ogling to do due to cool weatheriness though, doh.
Some poor girl bunged her knee playing on the Cross Trainer (see ...I said they were evil) and flew off it backwards and managed to hit the wall as she collapsed in a little heap behind the jungle of machines.
Skaed was sweatily pedalling away on the machine next to me and was completely unaware as his new mp3 player had him sealed into his own little planet. Where I was between songs and completely lost interest in the fact I had 2 more minutes to pedal like a demented midget and try to beat the sainted frustrating 11.6km mark. Need I even say I got to the 11.6km mark... again.. and no further as I was rubbernecking rather than paying attention to the shrinkage of my ass (20 minutes on a sexercise bike = 11.6km no matter how hard either of us seem to try)
Speaking of my ass (what a hideous way to start a paragrah for those in the know) I think the shrinkage has begun... parts of me are certainly not quite as flubbery as they were two long hard weeks ago. Buff and toned are not words that come to mind... yet.
SexBomb has had some progress picking up her John Travolta (Dance teacher). It would seem he IS of the straight persuasion, is single, dating (females) and can be found on one of those "I'm desperate" websites (I'm going to get hit for that one, SexBomb only found out coz she's on the same one, teehee). Travolta has been most unrevolting this week, and complimentary to boot... so out comes SexBomb's more 'revealing' dance wear and the smile we all know and love. Very tempted just to ring up the studio and say "my friend likes you" because I haven't done that since high school... but my life is more important than that.
The pupsicle (Mad Sammy) got a trip to the beach today. I couldn't be assed driving all the way to the gym to sweat so I hopped along the beach in a half walk half stagger/jog and threw the ball for ages to dry and get the dog to smell less doggy. Which he did. Until he found the corpse.
It seriously looked like a human spine with long long since deceased skin & clothing hanging off it (bloody hope it wasn't though). Undisturbed it was gentle on the nose. When Sammy nose dived on it for a bloody great rub... PHWOAR. Another swim, a violent rubdown and he got into my gorgeous little car. Little bastard still reeked of seaweedy fishy maggoty death though didn't he. Windows down and driving at a speed approaching the speed of light to get our asses home while trying not to reach.
Threw poor Sammy out of the car soon as I got home (ok, so I opened my door and he flew out as usual) I managed to get inside without him and find my stolen hotel bottle of shampoo from some random hotel somewhere and dragged sammy to the hose for a shampoo and set. He went from stinky sphinctery to delicious in 2 minutes (but was left outside to dry just in case there was underlying pong remaining).
Back at work tonight, 2 lates, then 2 fucking fucking graveyards. If I don't sleep this week you'll know when you hear about the attempted mass murder/suicide with a plastic spoon.
Lots of lovely oldies in tonight for a 60th... am waiting to seem them all weaving and giggling like teenages. Gotta love old drunks. It's either that or wait for the swimmers to come back so I can ogle their goodies. Doubt there'll be much ogling to do due to cool weatheriness though, doh.
posted by LuSh at 2:10 AM
2 Comments:
cold weather is good. You get to laugh at their shrinkage.
Those swimmers are SO inconsiderate.
I had visions of men in lovely tight form fitting lycra goodness.
They bum around in huge baggy unnattractive Aust Institute of Stupidity tracksuits..... double doh
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