Alive and about to start kicking!
First, apologies, I'm not dead (the rumours I've been spreading should have said that I was).
Apologies also for anyone wishing to comment.... I muffed it up.... how unusual... as of now comments should be damn well working again!
I made it to Melbourne to play with the girls. I got wildly intoximicated on red grape juice in Lygon Street to the point of making a complete ass of myself (or so I'm told....). I shopped but barely spent anything... suckers. I talked a LOT of shit... as per usual. I watched SeXbomb at a dancing lesson while trying to work out the sexual orientation of her instructor (we're still unsure). My cousin's adorable daughter smeared flu germs on me... oh well, there's still love. I didn't have love however for the germs that stuck and made me end up off work in a pathetic state AGAIN. Twice within the same month is entirely pissweak. Oh well, alive and well again now.... apart from the obviously scarred mental capacity.
For those who know me well take a deep breath before reading the next line.
.
.
.
Yes I joined a gym.
(waits while you pick your asses up off the floor and come to).
The dreaded 28th+2 birthday approacheth as does the early (snigger) life crisis.
I can't take this ass to a party, so I have to build a new one. So far they haven't been entirely mean to me, tomorrow that will most likely change. It's entirely possible I'll just be blogging something along the lines of 'mutter, mutter, snarfle buttocks faecal eating butt dwelling monkey maggots' by tomorrow night. But shit happens.
Other things....
Big Mac (aka dad) finally lost his temper. My whole life I don't really recall him ever having a real barney at anyone. Snide comments and sarcasm yes. Eye rolling and shrugging....
But I guess when the bogan's down the road come round the corner for the 57th time at ridiculously high speeds and take out the rubbish bin and recycling bin for the 10th time.... then do another lap and come EXTREMELY close to running the hell over you while you try to clean up the mess that you would just snap. And he did.... picked up the recycling crate, half full of empties... and hurled it at the car you just examined at close range (well cars are close when they're almost on top of you)... and bugger me if he didn't hit it!
Some time later the bogans (utterly offended that their dunnydoor had a ding of some description in it, and entirely uncaring that it happened out of pure frustration and maybe a little fear that someone had just kinda almost killed you) surfaced on the street... with friends (cowards much) and started hurling abuse, rocks and other objects at the house. They managed to break the letter box off, break the gate off the hinges, threaten some other charming acts of kindness, dent the garage door.... just classy.
Cops were called. The threats (thankfully) amounted to nothing... except amazement that my father has a temper. OK so he smacked me once when I was being a cheeky bitch (innocent angel that I am) but I timed it badly... he'd just backed the 4wd into the top of the garage door and dented both... doh.
Speaking of cars hitting things (no I didn't hit anything). We went to the old's for dinner the other night and the car and a large wallaby/small kangaroo got a wee bit closer than is comfortable. Car 1, Roo 1. Not sure if the roo made it but the front bumper didn't, one bit smashed off, another is hanging by a thread (waiting to be either insuranced up, or gaffa taped back together).
On the 'doh' side of things... SeXbomb is no longer coming to play with me in October... I've been written out of the budget.
On the 'woohoo' side of things... my Sydney girlyfriend Kinky is coming to play in September.
More girliness and silliness please.
I hate TV today. Isn't enough to watch these people stumbling along on Neighbours... why do I also have to hear the Mangler girl on the radio.... then she pops up on a 'preNeighbours' show of her own, so exciting... she rented? an apartment.... wow what a thrill.
WTF did we watch pre 'reality' TV.
I was so relieved to see the ass end of 15 hours a day of Big Brother, then channel surfing tonight, to my disgust, they're trying to work out which one of them has a brain.... talk about fishing for nothing.
On the upside... Yasmine's no longer husband hunting like a skanky whore because no one wanted to watch her shallow self centred self.
Speaking of skanky whore's ( you know I love ya)... SeXbomb made it onto TV (the one bit of TV I didn't hate this week). Well done chicka... and no I won't be calling your agent.... though mum has taped you I promise.
Have been up since 5.20am and am still awake (to my surprise) and it's nearly 10pm... think it's time to put on the extremely daggy gear and pretend to read while drooling on a pillow.
Night night!
Apologies also for anyone wishing to comment.... I muffed it up.... how unusual... as of now comments should be damn well working again!
I made it to Melbourne to play with the girls. I got wildly intoximicated on red grape juice in Lygon Street to the point of making a complete ass of myself (or so I'm told....). I shopped but barely spent anything... suckers. I talked a LOT of shit... as per usual. I watched SeXbomb at a dancing lesson while trying to work out the sexual orientation of her instructor (we're still unsure). My cousin's adorable daughter smeared flu germs on me... oh well, there's still love. I didn't have love however for the germs that stuck and made me end up off work in a pathetic state AGAIN. Twice within the same month is entirely pissweak. Oh well, alive and well again now.... apart from the obviously scarred mental capacity.
For those who know me well take a deep breath before reading the next line.
.
.
.
Yes I joined a gym.
(waits while you pick your asses up off the floor and come to).
The dreaded 28th+2 birthday approacheth as does the early (snigger) life crisis.
I can't take this ass to a party, so I have to build a new one. So far they haven't been entirely mean to me, tomorrow that will most likely change. It's entirely possible I'll just be blogging something along the lines of 'mutter, mutter, snarfle buttocks faecal eating butt dwelling monkey maggots' by tomorrow night. But shit happens.
Other things....
Big Mac (aka dad) finally lost his temper. My whole life I don't really recall him ever having a real barney at anyone. Snide comments and sarcasm yes. Eye rolling and shrugging....
But I guess when the bogan's down the road come round the corner for the 57th time at ridiculously high speeds and take out the rubbish bin and recycling bin for the 10th time.... then do another lap and come EXTREMELY close to running the hell over you while you try to clean up the mess that you would just snap. And he did.... picked up the recycling crate, half full of empties... and hurled it at the car you just examined at close range (well cars are close when they're almost on top of you)... and bugger me if he didn't hit it!
Some time later the bogans (utterly offended that their dunnydoor had a ding of some description in it, and entirely uncaring that it happened out of pure frustration and maybe a little fear that someone had just kinda almost killed you) surfaced on the street... with friends (cowards much) and started hurling abuse, rocks and other objects at the house. They managed to break the letter box off, break the gate off the hinges, threaten some other charming acts of kindness, dent the garage door.... just classy.
Cops were called. The threats (thankfully) amounted to nothing... except amazement that my father has a temper. OK so he smacked me once when I was being a cheeky bitch (innocent angel that I am) but I timed it badly... he'd just backed the 4wd into the top of the garage door and dented both... doh.
Speaking of cars hitting things (no I didn't hit anything). We went to the old's for dinner the other night and the car and a large wallaby/small kangaroo got a wee bit closer than is comfortable. Car 1, Roo 1. Not sure if the roo made it but the front bumper didn't, one bit smashed off, another is hanging by a thread (waiting to be either insuranced up, or gaffa taped back together).
On the 'doh' side of things... SeXbomb is no longer coming to play with me in October... I've been written out of the budget.
On the 'woohoo' side of things... my Sydney girlyfriend Kinky is coming to play in September.
More girliness and silliness please.
I hate TV today. Isn't enough to watch these people stumbling along on Neighbours... why do I also have to hear the Mangler girl on the radio.... then she pops up on a 'preNeighbours' show of her own, so exciting... she rented? an apartment.... wow what a thrill.
WTF did we watch pre 'reality' TV.
I was so relieved to see the ass end of 15 hours a day of Big Brother, then channel surfing tonight, to my disgust, they're trying to work out which one of them has a brain.... talk about fishing for nothing.
On the upside... Yasmine's no longer husband hunting like a skanky whore because no one wanted to watch her shallow self centred self.
Speaking of skanky whore's ( you know I love ya)... SeXbomb made it onto TV (the one bit of TV I didn't hate this week). Well done chicka... and no I won't be calling your agent.... though mum has taped you I promise.
Have been up since 5.20am and am still awake (to my surprise) and it's nearly 10pm... think it's time to put on the extremely daggy gear and pretend to read while drooling on a pillow.
Night night!
posted by LuSh at 4:24 AM
2 Comments:
Testing the comments - sigh.
Utter bastards hoons! Gawd!
And the ONLY reason you or I would join a gym is to perve. So - are you allowed to take a camera at this gym?
I haven't seen anything camera worthy...
yet!
I'm waiting waiting waiting most impatiently.
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